I can't stand fiction. Not all fiction- only really good fiction.
Before you exit out of my blog and hate me forever, allow me to explain.
First, let me tell you what I define as a "really good" book. I often define a book of this caliber by its ability to deeply affect the person reading it. It doesn't have to teach a lesson, but the reader leaves with some conviction that they did not previously posses. Now, this definition falls somewhat short when I think about some of the best fiction books I've read. I do not glean some new piece of information or spark of inspiration from them. In my opinion, what makes fiction books great is their ability to transport the reader. Obviously not physically, but on an emotional and psychological journey. When I read a good piece of fiction, I get lost in its depths.
The reason such books are so great is the same reason I hate them.
See, when I get lost in a book's depths, when I find myself totally immersed in another world, certainly there's a part of my mind that knows that this escape will not last forever, but I try to ignore that voice as much as possible.
And then it's over. With the turn of the final page, the universe I have poured so much of myself into disappears. When I finish a good fiction book, I feel empty inside. What I devoured so rapidly and with such intensity is gone, and I don't know what to do with myself.
This might sound extreme and melodramatic, but there are few things I can compare to finishing a good work of fiction. I have never been depressed for long periods of time, and I have never been clinically diagnosed with depression, but I have felt depressed before. I expect that I experience this feeling no more than any stressed senior, but I bring this up as a means of comparison. When I put so much time and dogmatic faith into this endeavor I invest a great deal of myself into the world created by the melding of the author's words and my creativity. When that comes to a close, I find myself lost. It often takes me days, and sometimes even weeks before I fully recover from finishing a fiction novel.
And yet for all of this emptiness, these holes left by a good book, I cannot help but pick up another. I don't think it's because I'm a sadist, and I wouldn't say I'm hooked on the hollowness brought on by a finished novel. If I had to guess, I'd say the reason for this is because of the absolute high of living in a fantasy world, even if it's only in my mind, and even if it's only for a short 600 pages. Being able to create, destroy, interpret, and experience such other-worldly things is something that I could never give up.
Very interesting take on fiction. I think maybe you could turn this love-hate relationship into love-love if you don't invest so much into the books. Instead of being depressed when the book ends, you could just sit back, reflect, and enjoy what you read.
ReplyDeleteAfter reading your post, I have a lot of questions...
ReplyDeleteHas a book led you to change yourself or your view of the world- however imperceptibly that change may be? So maybe there is something good left after reading a good book, perhaps?
Do especially memorable characters live on in your mind for a while after you finish a book? Maybe sort of like a ear worm?
And is it possible to control how invested you are in a book? (I can't figure that one out, despite much trial and error.)
Absolutely to your first question- tons of books have had a variety of influences on me. And I don't mean to imply that there is nothing good left after finishing a book- I simply mean that with the good comes bad, though the bad is not directly from a fault of the book's (if that makes sense).
DeleteAnd again, absolutely- some characters refuse to get out of my head- they often influence the way I think about things and my decisions as well.
I honestly have not figured out a way to control how invested I am in a book. If I like the book a lot, I get totally wrapped up in it. If I don't like it, I won't get absorbed. I have yet to find a way to consciously affect that emotional investment.
I've also gotten really into fiction that way; the world that the characters are in always seem to be really cool and exciting(like Eragon, for example), and our world looks dull. I think it's perfectly fine to get really into a fictional story, just pick out a really good series so it won't end. Even after you finish the book, you'll be able to think about what the sequel will be like. Even if you don't actually read the sequel, you won't feel as sad after finishing the first book. At least, that's how I feel.
ReplyDeleteI try to do pick out series, but then I end up finishing the series, and then it just sucks again haha.
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