To Be Or Not To Be

Suicide is a very controversial topic. It was presented earlier this year in our reading of Hamlet, and was brought up again this week in The Road.

The Road presents two opposing perspectives on suicide. The mother kills herself, while the father chooses to try and live. The world has been destroyed by some presumably man-made apocalypse, and most people are dead. Many that aren't dead have joined Blood Cults and other such groups that brutally rape, kill, and eat people. This is not exactly an ideal scenario to be in. The mother says that she can't go on trying to survive, and she'd rather not live in such a cruel and messed-up world. The father, on the other hand, does not commit suicide. He chooses this path because of his son. He loves his son very much, and wants him to grow up and live a happy life. The thought of either killing his son or leaving his son alone is unbearable.

Some might call suicide an easy way out. I would definitely agree that it prevents a good deal of suffering and harm, both physical and emotional. However, I don't think it should be looked on (in this instance at least) with disdain. With the world in such an awful place, the question arises about whether it is better to try and survive, or whether it is simply not worth it.

I'm not suggesting I have an answer to this question, and hopefully I'll never need one. I just want to stress the fact that suicide is not as black-and-white and issue as it is often portrayed.

First Semester

AP English Literature and Composition has been one of my favorite classes this year by far. One of the parts I loved from the first semester of AP Lit was the discussion on philosophy that spanned several class periods. I have always been interested in philosophy, but I didn't know anything about existentialism, and I found it a very enthralling topic. I found the short story unit to be surprisingly fun. I didn't think I liked short stories, but this unit definitely changed my mind about that. Also, I love all of the reading that we do. I know that should kind of be a given with the whole AP "Literature" thing, but reading is one of my passions, and this class certainly fulfills that to a great extent.

I have been frustrated by something this semester, however: the outside reading essays/assignments. I love reading, and I happily read many books on my own outside of school, so the fact that reading was assigned was not a big deal to me. However, I was not a big fan of the essays that came with it. I understand that we need to practice writing, but I think we should be trusted to read our books without having to be tested over them (though I see the obvious problem with this).

We have already been informed that next semester the outside reading has changed, and I like the new format more than the last one. I still dislike the fact that we are being tested over our books by writing an essay, but I like the idea of reading books in order to answer some kind of discussion question. I very much look forward to the unit on novels next semester as well.

As a final note, I really love the blog posts idea. It can be hard to come up with good topics every week, but I like writing like this for fun on a topic of our choice. It's relaxing and a fun exercise.

This video is unrelated, but awesome. So here ya go!

Hide and Seek

Hide and Seek, by Imogen Heap, is one of my favorite songs of all time. It is incredibly beautiful and powerful. If you haven't heard it before, I strongly suggest listening to it with headphones turned up a bit- it's quite an experience. If you have heard it before, I would still encourage you to watch the video, as it has the lyrics, which are hard to decipher from just the audio.

I've listened to this song a lot, but I have never understood the lyrics before. Once I looked up the lyrics, I found them to be meaningful and well-written. So what is this woman singing about anyway?

Of course there are different opinions on the lyric's meanings, but, for me, she is singing about a new beginning after breakup of some sort, and sometimes uses the analogy of a new house. She is very upset about this turn of events, and she blames her ex-partner for it. This story is nothing unusual, but the poetry that she uses to tell us the events and her feelings is beautifully written.

If you want a line-by-line analysis, I've done a basic one below, though I can't decipher all of the lines.



Where are we? --Where are we in our relationship?
What the hell is going on? -- How did we get to this point?
The dust has only just begun to form -- Our relationship has recently ended, and I am just beginning to get over it
Crop circles in the carpet -- (Furniture being moved around) You have moved out of my thoughts/heart
Sinking, feeling
Spin me around again
And rub my eyes -- Try to wake me up, as this feels like a dream
This can't be happening -- How could our relationship have ended?
When busy streets
A mess with people
Would stop to hold their heads heavy -- Even strangers would find this situation so depressing that it would make them stop in their tracks

Hide and seek
Trains and sewing machines -- (I honestly have no idea)
All those years
They were here first -- Before this emptiness that now occupies my soul, we spent years together
Oily marks appear on walls
Where pleasure moments hung before -- The places in my mind/heart where happy memories of times with you were stored have now been cleared out and those memories have been put away
The takeover
The sweeping insensitivity of this
Still life
Hide and seek
Trains and sewing machines

(You won't catch me around here)
Blood and tears
They were here first -- Before this emptiness that now occupies my soul, we bled and cried together (meaning we were very close)
Mm, what'd you say?
Mm, that you only meant well
Well of course you did -- I know you were well-intentioned, but that doesn't change that you hurt me
Mm, what'd you say?
Mm, that it's all for the best
Of course it is -- I know you think this is better for both of this, and that may be true, but it still hurts
Mm, what'd you say?
Mm, that it's just what we need
You decided this -- You were the one who decided that we needed to end our relationship- I was ready to try and fix it and continue our lives together
Mm, what'd you say?
Mm, what did she say? -- (Possibly hinting at an affair)

Ransom notes keep falling out your mouth --You keep trying to take things from me (breaking my heart?)
Mid-sweet talk, newspaper word cutouts --(I am not sure on this one)
Speak no feeling, no, I don't believe you
You don't care a bit, you don't care a bit
Ransom notes keep falling out your mouth
Mid-sweet talk, newspaper word cutouts
Speak no feeling, no, I don't believe you
You don't care a bit, you don't care a bit

(You don't care a bit)
Oh, no, you don't care a bit
Oh, no, you don't care a bit
Uh-uh, you don't care a bit
You don't care a bit
You don't care a bit

A Fading Existence

You don't know what you have until it's gone.

This shouldn't be a new concept to anyone. It's a cliche as old as anyone can remember, and for that reason, it often gets passed off as trivial, stupid, or common sense. Once in a while, however, I think it's important to remember that cliches are around for a reason- they're usually true.

There are some things which we don't always have, and so we are forced to think about their impermanence. Success. A boyfriend/girlfriend. Approval.  Things like homes, money, jobs, or even more abstract concepts like freedom of speech. We are constantly bombarded with campaigns telling us to imagine life without these things, to the point where it seems as though we live in constant fear of either not being able to obtain them or losing them.

There are other things that we are around all the time, and we don't even contemplate their impermanence, as we have never had reason to suspect they could disappear. I'm talking about losing things like your family's love. Your skills. Your identity. Imagine going to sleep one evening and losing your practical knowledge- how to walk, how to talk, how to interact. Or, even worse in my opinion, imagine losing those things over time, without you even realizing it. That happens all the time to every one of us. I'm not suggesting that your parents will stop loving you tomorrow, or that you will suddenly forget what you learned yesterday in English.  But as you get older, things begin to go. First it might be your knowledge from high school physics, then your friend's birthdays, then what you had for breakfast that morning, then your family's names. All things end. Or, more accurately, all things fade.

Time is the great force-

     The absolute undoer of men;

     The steady unraveler of substance;

And no mortal can oppose its deadly pace.

Here's a soliloquy from the "immortal" Shakespeare's play, Hamlet:
   No, faith, not a jot; but to follow him thither with modesty enough and 
   likelihood to lead it; as thus: Alexander died, Alexander was buried, 
   Alexander returned into dust; the dust is earth; of earth we make loam:
   and why of that loam, whereto he was converted, might they not stop at a 
   beer-barrel?

For argument's sake, I'm not sure everything fits into this description. Take love, for example. Yes, it can end. Yes, it can fade over time. Yes, it can be impermanent. But is it not possible to love for one's whole life? I can't provide an answer for that, but it's an interesting thought.

In case you haven't been depressed enough at this point by the mortality of this world and all that's in it, here's an amazing video my friend showed me. It's an artist's interpretation of the last two movements from Messian's Quartet for the End of Time. Watching these videos is a moving experience, and I encourage you to find 20 minutes by yourself in a quiet place and watch it all at once.

Here's part 1, and part 2 is in the suggestions box: 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_QrGzES0UNk

Humor in the News

"Petraeus Is Only The Beginning," Teases Obama, Promising Second Term Full Of Homeland-Like Twists

New Al-Qaeda Recruit Sick Of Hearing Senior Terrorists Brag About 9/11 Attacks

Scientists Develop Highly Volatile New Relationship

These are but a few headlines from the riotous publication The Onion. The Onion is filled with hilarious articles and satirical videos, largely dealing with the most recent news.

I have told many of my friends about The Onion, and I have been surprised by the results. Many find the website funny, some others dismiss it at a lame attempt at humor, but a couple of people have commented on the inappropriateness of their news, saying things like "making jokes about this issue is making the issue into a joke."

I think that that's a pretty stupid idea.

Humor has always been prevalent in cultures, and poking fun at current events is nothing new. Making fun of these things is a way to lighten the mood. These articles and videos let everyone have moment to breath, step back, and realize the absurdity of the real news being satirized. If anything, I think that publications like The Onion help people think clearly about issues by relieving them of their preconceived biases. "But how does it do that?", you might ask. In making us laugh about a subject, it clears our minds and allows us to reevaluate it more objectively.

I'd love to post more Onion on here, but not all of it is G-rated, so I'll just tell you guys to check it out for yourselves.

Poetry

I used to think poetry was awful. When we read poems in elementary school, I hated how amorphous and open-to-interpretation most of them were. When the poetry unit came around in middle school, I was dreading it. My opinion changed when we read some of Edgar Allan Poe's work. I wouldn't say that his work profoundly affected me in any way, but I thought his writing was really cool.

Though I have yet to read poetry in high school as part of a class, I have found my taste for it growing recently. Some poems do sound nice or, for lack of a better word, are simply 'cool". But some poems are so much more than that. They can reach a level of understanding on a topic that seems impossible to put into words. They can make me feel sad without ever saying anything saddening. They can make me feel happy in a tenth as many words as a novel or short story.

What my elementary and middle school brain didn't understand is that poetry's vagueness and indirect language is what makes it so fantastic and gives it such potential. Some things can seem hard to put into words because our language simply doesn't have ample words to describe them. Poetry strives to explain the inexplicable by making connections and using language as a tool to accomplish much greater means.

Of course, not all poems are meant to delve into greater understanding. Some of my favorite poems are meant to evoke an emotion or make a statement of some sort. However, all types of poetry use language in similar ways.

Below is an example of one of my favorite poems:

"Invictus"

by William Ernest Henley

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

Also, here is the scariest version of Edgar Allen Poe's "The Raven" ever. Because it's Christopher Walken.

Speakin Skillz

I was watching ESPN tonight, and they had a special on UK basketball. They were talking about how people came in to work with the players on their speaking skills. The commentators were saying how important it was for players to be able to speak well, since they have to conduct dozens of press conferences and interviews.

Speaking well has not always been an important thing in our culture. Until the invention of the radio, for example, politicians have never been able to speak to large audiences at once. After this technological advance, it became necessary for politicians to be powerful speakers, as the whole nation could listen to them.

Speaking skills have continued becoming more and more important in society. In MSTC Senior Seminar, we practice our public speaking non-stop through a variety of activities. Many classes have started including a presentation aspect in projects for this reason.

Our modern culture places lots of emphasis on coherence and being able to present one's ideas clearly. I completely agree with the direction we are headed in. Being able to speak well will impact every avenue of one's life, from job interviews to public presentations to not being awkward on a first date.

Below is an example of excellent public speaking skills.