Giant Beetle Man

I just read the short story The Metamorphosis, by Franz Kafka. It was awesome. The story is about a man who wakes up and has been transformed into a giant beetle overnight. Though his mental facilities remain intact, he is (understandably so) treated with shock by his family. They keep him in his room, and the only member of his family that helps him is his younger sister, who gives him food and cleans his room. Over the course of the story, the man is cruelly and systematically alienated from his friends, family, and all of humanity. In the end, even his sister says that "the Monster" couldn't be her brother, as it would have left long ago to alleviate the family of his immense burden. That night, the man dies, after starving himself for weeks on end in depression. The story ends with the family being growing back together and being immensly happy and free now that the man is dead.

This is a story about alienation, and one that is extremely powerful and affecting. The story is a self-reflective work about how Kafka feels about his own life. He had a complex relationship with his sometimes-abusive father, and he was very close with his younger sister. The story goes into multiple types of alienation. Obviously, there's the physical aspect; the fact that he is concretely separate from the human race. Beyond that, there is the alienation of himself from his family. They do not realize he can understand them as he cannot speak, so they talk about him when he can hear them. They do not understand him, and they fail to recognize his positive qualities at all.

These are all feelings that many people experience in their lives. Kafka is able to take this extreme example and make it relatable and  applicable to any reader, which is a feat not easily accomplished. I would definitely recommend this short read to anyone interested in reading really awesome stuff.

The Road

I have now finished The Road for a second time. I like the ending a lot. After two hundred and fifty pages of depression and bleak outlooks, the last couple of pages finally give the reader some hope.

I have heard a couple of different interesting theories about the final section. One is that the family that takes the boy in is farming children to eat. I heard this theory before I reread the ending, and it upset me greatly. Now that I have looked at it further, however, I don't see this theory as accurate as all. First of all, the amount of resources it would take to farm children is completely unrealistic. The most benificial practice for the adults to partake in would be eating the children as soon as they are born. It takes too much time and food to grow them up to be not a whole lot more massive than they would be early in life. Also, I think the last two pages destroys this idea. The boy talks about the future, and how they see fish at one point in the mountains. If he's been kept alive for that long, it is extremely unlikely that he will be killed and eaten by the family protecting him.

Another theory I've heard is that the boy dies with the man. As the man said earlier in the book, the only dreams for men in peril are of peril. Any other kind is bad news. The boy experiences these good things at the very end, and it almost seems too good to be true. This theory states that the boy has passed away or is currently in the process of passing away, and these are his last dreams.

I don't believe in either of these theories, though they are interesting. I think the ending is much more straightforward- the boy lives happily ever after. The end.

Auditions

The next month is going to be a very stressful time for me. Though I have finished applying to all of my colleges, I chose to apply to a few music schools. These require live auditions. Differerent schools have different requirements, but most of them make you play one major and minor scale with arpeggios, an etude, 2 contrasting movements from a Bach suite, and a movement from a concerto- all memorized.

The scales are kind of self-explanatory. But the etude is interesting. An etude is a short work designed to hone a certain technique or skill. There are many different composers for etudes with hundreds of etudes between them. Choosing one for an audition is a tricky thing. I chose Kreutzer's etude #16. This one focuses on getting even trills and a reliable bow stroke. Etudes are usually not easy to memorize, but this one is particularly difficult because it is essentially the exact same measure over and over again. There is not much of a melodic line, which is very helpful for memorization.

For my Bach, I am playing the first two movements (Prelude and Allemande) from Suite no. 3, in C Major. This is actually my favorite part of the audition. Both of these movements are relatively simple on the page, but there are infinite possibilities for interpretation and expansion when you delve deeper into the music. Every single cellist and violist has their own style for playing different Bach, and an important part of growing up musically is choosing one you like the best.

The last part of my audition is the movement from a concerto. I am playing Fantasie for Viola and Orchestra by J. Hummel. This piece is split up into 3 sections. The first is similar to a heavy Mozart opera, and is slow and melodramatic. The second is more like a light Mozart Opera. It is faster and less ponderous. The last movement is very fast and is definitely for showing-off. There are tricky technical passages in this third section that are not present in the first two.

The audition process is long and difficult, but it's made a lot easier because I enjoy the pieces that I chose.

To Be Or Not To Be

Suicide is a very controversial topic. It was presented earlier this year in our reading of Hamlet, and was brought up again this week in The Road.

The Road presents two opposing perspectives on suicide. The mother kills herself, while the father chooses to try and live. The world has been destroyed by some presumably man-made apocalypse, and most people are dead. Many that aren't dead have joined Blood Cults and other such groups that brutally rape, kill, and eat people. This is not exactly an ideal scenario to be in. The mother says that she can't go on trying to survive, and she'd rather not live in such a cruel and messed-up world. The father, on the other hand, does not commit suicide. He chooses this path because of his son. He loves his son very much, and wants him to grow up and live a happy life. The thought of either killing his son or leaving his son alone is unbearable.

Some might call suicide an easy way out. I would definitely agree that it prevents a good deal of suffering and harm, both physical and emotional. However, I don't think it should be looked on (in this instance at least) with disdain. With the world in such an awful place, the question arises about whether it is better to try and survive, or whether it is simply not worth it.

I'm not suggesting I have an answer to this question, and hopefully I'll never need one. I just want to stress the fact that suicide is not as black-and-white and issue as it is often portrayed.